I can't decide what to write tonight and since I don't necissarliy write every day there should be no problem. But... I have this desire to write something, anything. I want to write becuase I have so many things going through my head (not all of them depressing and cynical like my last few posts). I want to communicate my confusion and sadness, my understanding and my joy. Somehow, though, I can't put these things into words; I can't really even understand them myself sometimes. yet I still want to write something. Maybe its my longing to communicate; to speak with someone I haven't talked to in a while. Maybe I just want to speak to someone that doesn't have an agenda while I'm speaking to them, causing them to not really listen.
No, these are all true, but the real reason it I'm looking for answers and I can't just think them into existence. I have to hash them out in writing; give my thoughts room to grow. So what am I thinking about? Orchestra Tour expenses, my classes, getting a job after school, family, friends, my quirks, girls, Concerto/Aria contest, my recital, practicing, my nearly broken glasses, art, emotions, movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, my car, my bass, roomates, and the list goes on.
Well that helped... a little.. I think
4 comments:
I have a belly-button
True! Or, at least, I'm choosing to believe that its true despite experiences and cynicism. The key now would be to start acting out what I believe, and then feeling the same way that I act. Ah, Pascal...
But come on. We're at Bethel. You're trying to tell me that Girl A and Girl B, being equal in niceness and personality traits (this is hypothetical) but unequal in appearances, would be equal in your eyes? I think not.
And the HTML thing was due to the site refusing to publish my last post because of something incomprehensibly wrong with the HTLM. So I had to rewrite it all, and it was really annoying. :)
Yes, again you're right. Apart from my cynicism, I do have a very silly romantic view of love: I believe that for every person in the world there's a Best Path for their life to follow, and this path includes a Best Person to join them on that path. So you could maybe get along with Second Best or Third Best, and that's all right because we live in a fallen world. But there's a Best out there somewhere, and that's the person that's perfect for you.
One question, though: what the heck is "mysteriousness?" And why aren't guys supposed to be mysterious?
"A writer is not an idealistic dreamer....he does not submerse himself in the inner certainty of his talents. He puts his talents to work; that is, he needs the work he produces in order to be conscious of his talents and of himself. The writer only finds himself, only realizes himself, through his work..." -Maurice Blanchot
So, I suppose, you should keep doing it.
Post a Comment