Numb

Numb.... That's the way I feel.



I'm trying to process everything; the new semester, my parents, piano proficiency, friendships, and Women. Instead of coming to some sort of boil I have been left with nothing. Sort of like I have slowed down but time is racng away. Like I just want to sit down. Maybe listen to the sound of silence. And wait for the answers that I know aren't forthcoming.
My life is like a sleeping arm; feels like dead weight and all I can do is wait a while. But I've been waiting for a long time and I'm worried the feeling is not going to come back to this limb...

Continued later in the night......

I never thought it could be possible but I believe I have had the pain of rejection whout being rejected myself. I was really pulling for my friend and expected no problems(this refers to an earlier post). I might be experienceing all of the things associated with this type of pain. distrust of others, depression, withdrawl from relationships, among others. I'm not sure how to handle this; I keep thinking I do but I have no idea (yes Doug, I'm exploring this infinite void). I need an example of someone I can trust (even though this loss of trust is coming vicariously through my friends issues). And to think... I came so close to taking the next step.......

Take that how you will.