Wow, its been over a year since I've written here. I think its about time to write a little bit.
I have a new job teaching orchestra full time and I couldn't be happier about it. The job has plently of room to grow, opportunities to prove my worth as an educator, and a good deal of music department and community support.
However, I had t leave my old home and move to a place where I know no one and start fresh. This is not something I do well. Though I have met a good number of colleagues and aquaintances, I still am basically friendless.

I end up calling my Dad nightly to talk and regularly call old friends to see how they are doing. To make it harder, I have been a part of three weddings this year (two within a month!). Though I love these people and I wish them the best, it does remind me of how alone I feel here. The only reason I'm here is my job and, though that is important, I have a hard time at night. It's been a long time since I've been this alone having gone from home with parents to college to roomates. I now love alone and, basically, have no one to call.

I won't lie. I would love to find a meaningful relationship with a woman. The friends who haven't gotten married are either engaged or headed that way and I have yet to go on a real date. It's a scary position I'm in and I really want to change things, but I don't know how. That siad, I wouldn't mind evena few friends to hang with on the weekends. I need some meaningful contact with people besides teaching and colleage banter.

So here I am. I first year teacher with tons of self-consciousness about a job that is new and another thing to worry about completely. I have no one locally to reassure me or even someone that I can pour myself out to. Besides needing love from others, I need to give love to others and I find is very hard to do in this situation.

Perhaps I'm happy that it's been a while since I've written in this blog. Then no one will read this sad, self indulgent story. But it is nice to vent.