The beautifully dreary day

Today was an overcast day, but it might have been the most beautiful day all year. Seeing the lake melting and seeing rain on the ground instead of snow really lifted my spirits. I guess the best part was the memories of Oregon that it brought back. When my family lived in Oregon it seemed to rain almost every day ,but instead of loathing the rain (as my mom did) I loved the clean feeling of a gentle rain and especially the pine smell after the rain had ended.
Today was all of the greatness of a cool, Oregon day after the rain . I suppose if I could live anywhere, not thinking about family or work, I would live in the pacific northwest. I love the fresh trout, gorgeous Cascade Mountains, and the rain. It felt so fresh, as if God was washing away the dirt and making us new; thank God for rain.

Christian "Nice"

While I do appreciate the concern of others when it comes to my self esteem, sometimes I want to hear the truth. This is most apparent in the world of the Bethel Music department. In an attempt to be as Christ-like as possible we have once again misread the words and deeds of our savior. Let me give you an example. I am a music music major which means that my performance on a specific instrument, in this case the Double Bass, is important to my future. However, whenever I look for an honest assesment all I hear is "Great Job". The saddest part is that no matter how badly I have played (and a while back thoroghly provede this hypothesis) I always get the same response. Now, I still maght be able to pay attaention to myself and imporve according to my standards alone, but input is valuable to me. If I would have known that the faculty thought I sounded horrible (hypothetically of course) I would have practiced more; I am encouraged by constructive criticism.
I think the truth is the faculty are afraid of hurting my feelings and therefore end up hurting my career. Also, the end up hurting my feelings indirectly by avoiding me in the halls (yes it has been done!) or not having me play for the NASM recital (I'd like to know the reasoning behind their choices).
Another factor that causes my feelings to be hurt is my personal insecurity. I have only been playing in an orchestra since Freshman year so I am not as secure in my self image as those who have played since age four. I admit I have made tremendous progress and in that area I get a straight answer, but I want to know how GOOD am I? How do I stack up to other bass players my age who are music majors? well that's enough for now. Maybe I'll coax a real answer out of the faculty.