This is how it goes...

I'd like to put in writing my experiences this summer, but, since I'm tired, I'll do a bullet-point system to outline the major events as I saw them then recap at the end.

• Begin the summer with one interview: Painting with college pro. It seems to be my only option (and not too bad)
• Turns out I wasn't meant to paint. I quit (and never got paid!) and spend a few weeks frantically looking for jobs
• I find "The Cleaning Authority" which offered $10 and hour at full time.
• Turns out full time meant undetermined amount of time and less money than you hoped for.
• I still work at "TCA" and spent a good deal of my time trying to find teaching or music jobs to put my degree and passions to use.
• I applied to Maple Grove and never heard from them.
• I waited for Minnehaha Academy and it was filled internally
• I applied to PACT Charter school, interviewed, did a second interview, and didn't get the job
• I applied to Robbinsdale, knew another applicant who got the job (is she really better than me?)
• I applied to Hill-Murray school and still haven't heard from them.
• Still don't have my license so I can't sub.
• Got a job working nights and weekends at Schmitt Music to fill in the need for money.
• Turns out to be very unrewarding and uninspiring working for the "Man" of music

That's the jumble of things I think about when I clean (becuase your mind wanders). I am very dissatisfied with my life right now, and regret all of the jobs I didn't get. Now even the news is talking about the first day of school and I'm not in on the action. Instead I clean houses for arrogant, rich people who look down at me without realizing I likely have as much education and more brains than they do. I am throughly unfulfilled becuase my only opportunity to play anymore is for church playing as style of music I despise. I don't have my loan information on order. I don't know if I need to get car insurance and health insurance, and I simply feel like a failure.

I know that this is typical and I shouldn't get down on myself, but it is impossible not to do so. Situations like this cause one to shake their fists and tear their hearts out. We cry out to God Why! and receive no answer. Each application was like a new jolt of hope, and I thought God was simply teaching me patience and he would come through in the end. But those days came and went. Now I'm stuck where I am and I have to simply go on. Each day I must get up simply because life goes on.

I'm done. I'm sick of retyping all of my dyslexic typing errors.

Bye