Big news

Ok, so it's been a while since I have posted and I probably should have done this sooner because much has happened. Let's begin.

My dad was offered a job at Huntington College in Indiana and has taken that position. This mean that my could no longer work or support my schooling. This led me to look at Huntington becuase of the reduced tuition offered to dependents of faculty. There wass also and outside chance that I would be given reduced tuition here at Bethel.

Well this news made me pretty depressed and I went through that for a while. I wasn't sure what to do, but I didn't want to turn to God. I finally realized that it was possible that He wanted me to transfer so I gave that situiation over and trusted in the process. Just as I was getting ready to look at the campus and take a visit after spring break faculty here and at Huntington were pleading my case with the provost. I just found out that I can stay! The tuition waiver was given to me and now I don't have to transfer!

Prase the Lord! This situation has tested me and I feel so much overflowing love right now!
I love this school and the profs. and my friends and I didn't want to leave. god has given me a great gift of two more years here and I am very grateful. If you are reding this please thank the Lord right now for his work in my life and in your life for whatever He's done.


Just like Abraham had to do with his son. I had to sacrifice this situation and drop my desires and pick up His plan for me.


Hallelujah!
Psalm 98:1-3

Why don't you slip onto something a little more comfortable ....like a coma.

I finished a bit of homework today; Macgamut, alchemy paper, and a little studying for the instrumentation test. Hopefully that test will go pretty well. There's quite a bit to know for the class but maybe I'll be able to remeber what I've learned.

i'm going with the band on tour this week. It'll be fun but I'll also have a lot to catch up on. let's see if i casn do it when my apathy is high. I don't feel like "doing schoolwork" becuase it's nerly spring (and just wait 'till that rolls around).



sorry about how boring and uncohesive this is. I'm tired I think I'll go to bed soon.

I had a strizzoke in my brizzain

So it's been a while since my last post. Some of that is due to me being busy, but could have definetly done a few were it not for laziness. Oh well, on with the post....

I had a great time practicing today. I covered a lot of material and took care of some problems in my music. the best part was, however, the fact that I still feel like I could practice more. I didn't get bored like I usually do!

I have test in Mordern Alchemy tomorrow (actually today because it's past midnight). Hopefully
I'll do well dispite my apparent lack of studying. I think it should be easy.

Lot's to get done before tour. That will throw a nice curve at me since i'll be missing four days of classes.


that's all for now

Ash Wednesday!

Today was ash wednesday; tomorrow is the first day of Lent. I'm not sure what I may give up for Lent but I do want to do something. These religious observances have always seemed to be a great thing if they are done with the right attitude. I want to give something up as a sacrifice to God. I think giving something up that is a big part of your life not only symbolizes that God is the center of your life, but it also makes room in your schedule to do more important things that are honoring to God.
There was a service tonight and Michael Card (yes, THE Michael Card) led it. His music is very powerful and cut deeply into your soul. I was both inspired and impacted. He is a very humble who (and I don't use this term) is annointed. I don't like to use that phrase becuase of my background, but if anyone has ever been annointed that I have met it is him. His words speak truth and convict me. I enjoyed every moment of the service. You really have to pay attention to catch the gravity of his lyrics, but I you do you can be changed.

That's all for today. Other stuff happened but they are nothing compared to what I experineced at the service tonight. I wasn't changed dramatically, but it was definetly impacting nonetheless.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

Today's rehersal went much better. We started with the second act to make certain we finished it. We actually held together relativley well, considering the low frequency of rehersal opportunities we have had. I really enjoyed myself at certain points and I'm sure the preformance will be a great sucess.....welll, at least the final performance will be.
I had one class today, "Philosophy of Religion", I enjoy the prof. and expect to have a great learning experience there. The books aren't in, which is fine with me, but once we do get them there will be quite a bit of reading to do. I ordered one of them online. Hopefully it will come soon.
I haven't had much time to just relax. I really hope I can take some down time tomorrow; I'm running at full pace and don't know how long I can hold out. Oh well, this is how it is getting back into the routine of the semester, especially the spring semester.

Pack yourself a sack lunch!

Today was the first day of classes. I had three music classes back to back and a chemistry course in the morning. I found each class to be fun and I will enjoy learning all the new things associated with them but there's a lot of work to do. I also just recieved my syllabus by e-mail for my Philosophy of religion course. That is going to require much reading and contemplating; time I'll have to make if I want to mantain my precious GPA. This may be the hardest semester to date but I'm ready for the challenge.

We had rehersal today for Steel Pier from 6:40-11:00 p.m. That rehersal seemed like it would never end. it was necessary for us to do becuase we have many problems that need to be adressed yet synching up the music and text. I saw some things I was not happy with however. I probably would have done the same thing, but Dr. T really showed his frustration and got mad at the orchestra when the problem was all of the cut we had to follow and the fact rehersal was so long. We can't concetrate that long! When a director shows dissapointment all of the musicians tend to shut down. I was trying my best and it was rejected as not good enough. that's something I'll have to work on as a music teacher. You must maintain a positive environment; never take the mistakes of the few out on the whole. Oh well, we are all human and I know Dr. T appreciates our hard work.

Till next time

Approximatley 1 dollar per hour

Tomorrow is the first day of spring classes. I'm ready to start getting into a routine again. It's easier to practice when your day is mapped out for you. It seems the less time I have the more I can make for practicing. My classes should be good, but hopefully I won't do poorly in the classes. It's easy to do poorly in the spring, I just don't feel like working.

We'll it's almost time to go to vespers. I actually feel really good about going becuase I'm not going to try to recieve anything or give anything. I have nothing to give and I can't expect anything if i don't give. I'll simply go and worship God by offering the only thing I do have; Him. He really deserves all glory and honor.

Another Time, Another Place

I tried to give plasma today. Three questions from the needle they asked me if I have ever used growth hormone or gonadotropin. I had to leave and get a note from a doctor who tranferred to West Virginia. I hope I can give eventually. I could use the money and I would like to try the experience.

Doug came to school today. I'm excited that he's here; hopefully he'll find his niche. Maybe it'll include me, maybe not. Either way I gald he's come here.


Time to go to bed. I should use my interim break time more wisely.

why is it "an historic?"

Only one more day of observation. I've had a good time watching teachers, but I'm ready to sleep in for a change. I'm excited to teach. I've enjoyed class; learning classroom management, lesson planning and the like. For my free reading I'm reading "Teaching music through performance in band". It's a great book and valuable resource once I start teaching. I've already learned a lot from it and I've only just begun to read it. It's full of great insights on many aspects of running a band and being a band director.

I've got Steel Pier rehearsal tonight. It's good to play and get experience, but I'm alrerady wating for it to be done. I have so many responsibilities.

This weekend is interim beak and I might do a few things. For the most part, however, I'm just going to relax. Time to do some reflection and contemplating. I have many things to think about. A number of things weigh heavily on my mind, but I won't talk about them here. I probably will not talk about all of them to anyone. I have some personal thoughts to sift through and some focus I need to redirect on God instead of myself. Self-pity is never the answer; it's just another form of selfishness.

2 Samuel 22:33

Wow! God can do incedible things in our lives even when we aren't trying to follow him. He convicted me today and I went to my knees. There I found love and grace. the 2 Samuel passage says that strength and prefection come from God. We don't have to worry! Following God's precepts should actually be an outpouring of our love for God. Stop trying to force perfection on yourself! He supplies the strength and the perfection we need. When we fail it's not the end. God has stepped into my life and has invigorated me spiritually. Scripture is once again fertile with wisdom, not some ancient text that's boring. He put this love in my heart!

I am completely overcome with joy. I want everyone to experience God as I have, and I desire to experinece more. I've been filled to overflowing but am still hungry for more! It's amazing how this can happen.

I know the last few posts have been depressing. I have focused on my shortcomings instead of on the grace of God. I apologize and pray that you won't make the same mistake. Self-pity is just another form of selfishness, a sin we all must guard against.

Stay strong in the Lord!

When Black Friday Comes

I enjoy listening to a wide range of music. My taste really depends on my mood and what day it is. I do, however, usually listen to jazz, but I also like classic rock and classical music. The title for this blog is from a Steely Dan song. You should all listen to it; Steely Dan is a great band.

Moving along, I didn't wake up for observation this morning. I was extremely tired from rehersals last night (I went non-stop from 5:300 until 12:30). I'm not too worried about the consequences, but I enjoy being there and I might have had a chance to do something in one of the classes today. That means I missed an opportunity for growth. Oh well.

I'm really excited to play jazz again. I may be playing with a classmate of mine and a wonderful professor who wants to learn how to play some jazz. He's the epitome of the term life-time-learner. He is still going to classes in between his classes and practicing schedule. On top of that he wants to learn this new style of playing. He's mainly a classically trained pinaist, but he has an open mind that will hopefull help him learn quickly.

Personally, I feel as if my jazz chops have not been improving much. I have made leaps in overall bass playing, especially intonation. However, my soloing is not improving much and my bass lines are the same thing I have played since 10th grade. I'd like to start playing more and hopefully finding that love for playing jazz again. I often get frustrated becuase I've hit a wall and can't seem to break through it. It will happen eventually, but until then I'm extremely frustrated.

What is a salmon jump suit anyway?

Today was a good day of observation. I was able to lead a sectional with the 9th grade trombone players. They were not as bad as I had anticipated but they still don't seem w as if the middle school in the district is doing a good job of training young musicians. I made one horrible error that I realized immediatley. I neglected the trombones that didn't play as well. I tried to adress them ass a group, but it came out as adressing the two better player I think. I tried to tell them the importance of practicing and air and posture but I'm guessing it didn't get through. I remember I didn't care in High School.
I finished my portfolio (at least what I need to do for thins course). It feels good to get it done, especially since it's the last big thing for the course this J term. We are almost done; I can't wait to start my other courses. Yet, it's going to be hard getting back to the old schedule, including doing homework for a number of courses insteadd of one intensive class.

I hope I'm up for the challenge.......

Hoedown at the Landfill Planetarium

Obserivng at Spring Lake Park High in the morning yielded few new insights. After an extended period of time you find that, without guidace, there is only so much you can learn from pure observation. I'm supposed to lead a sectional soon. that should give some good chances to learn new things. Later, I went to class. We presented our papers and talked about the "sabretooth curriculum". Well, I'm pretty busy right now. I just wanted to record somet things . No new reflections today. umm........

The End

Hilarity Insues

I always do things like this. I get into something for a while (often focusing on in especiall the first day) but I eventually forget about it. I tried a xanga weblog once, but forgot about it after 5 posts. I'd rather not do that this time.

Anyway, I always get ina refletive mood when I'm bored. I realize that I'm not living up to my potential and that I have fallen off the beaten path. I'd like to say I'm a Christian, but I'm not sure it's true. I certainly don't read the bible often enough and I'm constantly repeating the same sin patterns. I can't seem to escape for the same pattern and I never serve others, especially those I don't know. My relationship goes in spurts. One day I'll be "on fire for God" then the next day I'll completely ingore Him. I look for a feeling and when I don't get It I quit. Well, there's still this mundane life to live. Maybe I'll get it eventually. I'll get sick of this runaround and hunker down to a life devoted to Christ. But until then I'll just reflect and develop a deeper sense of inner despair (a little dark for you?)
The scary thing to think is that the majority of "Christians" do the same thing but aren't conscious of it. We sit around and parade around as christians, all the time marring the name of the one we say we believe in. Christians should be different than everyone else. Instead we hide within the ranks of our peers never to burst out. Sure, sometime we revert to Gurellia warfare, bu that's not enough. We need world trasformation now.

This is the part where I say "Oh well" and reverty back to my old habits.

Damn it!
Pardon my French

The first day of the rest of your life

So today was decent as far as days go. I wrote a paper on merit-pay and teachers. It took most of the day so I didn't have much free time, but that's ok. I listened to quite a bit of jazz. Right now I'm listening to Branford Marsalis. The CD is great for now, but I'll probably change it soon. I went to a Happy Apple show on Saturday. It was the worst concert I have ever been to. I really don't understand their music. I may someday, but for now it sounds like garbage to me. I find my taste in music is far different from everyone else's (not a bad thing). I suppose that being different is good, as long as it's not for the sake of being different. Like the music you enjoy, don't bend to the will of others. Often I see people like music that is different because they aren't identified with the crowd. I guess we all do that in some aspect. We all want to fit in and belong, but we don't want to belong with the wrong people. Those people we frown upon fom our high tower. Well, enough ranting. I'm done for now.